Crunchy Bottoms

Striking the caloric balance. Barely.

Category Archives: Western

Hatched

Hatched

I do plenty of silly things now and then, and lately, I’ve run out of excuses for the mindless things I’ve done.  It’s like there’s some missing link between my thought processes that my brain just skips without realising.

I have no excuse for dining at an egg-inspired all-breakfast place and not ordering anything to do with eggs.

Really. Don’t bother waiting for my explanation because I have none.

I wasn’t thinking. (Haven’t been doing that for a while, and…wait, is that considered an excuse? Shrugs.)

So I returned to Hatched to redeem myself. Read more of this post

Bakerzin (United Square)

Bread Basket

The first time I went to Bakerzin was about three years ago, perhaps four. 

Now if I had known that they had a bread basket, and that helping yourself to copious amounts of ciabatta, whole grain and rye breads, and slotting them into an adorable roller-toaster of sorts was completely unlimited (provided you order a set meal of $13.80+), I’d have frequented them sooner – and perhaps would have made a huge dent in their revenue. 

Come on. It’s bread. Fresh bread with balsamic vinegar and olive oil to go with. Now we’re talking carbohydrates. 

I would admit though, that the main reason we ended up consuming about five to six plates of bread could really be blamed on my over-enthusiastic delight of dropping the slices into the toaster, watching them roll across the red-hot grill and waiting on bated breath for them to plonkplonkplonk and slide merrily down the little metal slope to a stop before my eager plate. It’s kind of like a grown-up version of how I used to slot every single coin I could find when I was a little tyke of 3 or 4 years-old into the air-conditioning vents of the family car, to the point where my parents had to practically yank them out and exhume the damn pipes before they could sell the vehicle off. I’ve always been a rascal, except that I’ve grown more practical and responsible over the years (I don’t pee in convenient stores and break toilet bowls anymore) – I made sure to finish every single slice. 

Read more of this post

Jones The Grocer (Mandarin Gallery)

 
Jones The Grocer

Raise your hand if you knew Jones The Grocer existed right smack in Orchard Road.

Keep your hand raised if you know where Mandarin Gallery is.

Mmhmm…I’m keeping my hand down on both accounts.

Perhaps you’re like me too, or not since I have somehow managed to walk past Mandarin Gallery with my eyes closed, never knowing it existed and then where it was after hearing of it.

Recall passing by a gargantuan palatial silver building just after Takashimaya while walking towards the Somerset-Dhoby Ghaut direction?  The one that makes you feel like an insignificant dust mite under the watchful and glamorous presence of Mont Blanc, D&G, Just Cavalli and Marc by Marc Jacobs that it flaunts? The one that looks far too atas, out of your league, and just so darn intimidating to even want to venture a step in?

Yea, that’s it.

But maybe that’s just me, who somehow never once saw the name of the building since it was always overshadowed and eclipsed by dear Marc.

Then again, you know, I know some people who would frolic and skip around inside the building like a playground, fully comfortable and right at home surrounded by all those designer labels.

That’s fine by me, really. They can graze and spree and party and bounce from one branded boutique to the next like a pachinko ball at the hands of a jaded Japanese salesman.

But me? I don’t care for that when there’s Jones (but that is not to say that I even could).

Read more of this post

Universal Studios Singapore

Universal Studios Singapore

 

What took me so long huh?    

Well, if you haven’t been to South East Asia’s first movie theme park and have been patiently waiting for friends to be willing to be $66 poorer with you, grinding your teeth on the inside in jealousy while you see news of people enjoying the thrills and spills of Universal Studios Singapore…    

I suggest you don’t.    

Yet.    

Why?    

Because the Transformers attraction won’t be ready till 2011 (I’m assuming it’ll be cool), and other attractions are still undergoing maintenance.    

Like the Battlestar Galactica mega coaster that I went there for.     

I can’t even begin to describe my anguish.    

Oli and I were at the ticket counter when we were told this and he almost had to drag me kicking and screaming into the park after paying because the sexiest attraction in Universal Studios wasn’t open.    

And I was so psyched. I was ready to ride it at least 5 times on the Human and Cylon coasters each, even if that meant alone since Oli would’ve turned inside out from emptying his stomach cavity. I wanted my corkscrews, loops and barrel rolls. And we went on a weekday! Perfect time to spam roller coasters!  And the Universal Studios website says nothing about which rides are under maintenance.    

So wait.    

Unless you don’t care for coasters, then by all means go ahead.    

But don’t go with me. Read more of this post

The Handburger

The Handburger

The first thing that struck me when I surveyed the restaurant after sitting down on one of its canteen-like benches was the sheer irony of its name. 

See, I’d expected patrons to be eating with their hands, regardless of this being a gourmet burger joint or not because in my opinion, by integrity of the act of eating burgers alone, one is expected to exercise the use of hands at some point. So the pun in its name really has no more of a purpose other than to draw out the bizarre incongruity between it and the actual dining experience. 

Because no one was using their hands at all. Not a person in sight. 

Mind-boggling, I know. 

But your initial bewilderment will soon dissolve into a sort of amused enlightenment, an ‘Aha!’ moment, as Oprah would say, because the burgers bear as little resemblance to actual burgers as opposed to mini replicas of leaning towers of Pisas…which I found absolutely adorable. 

I find paradoxes, oxymorons and juxtapositions adorable. They tickle me. 

So it shouldn’t surprise anyone then, that I just had to order the tallest, most ambitious of them all. Read more of this post